24 Things You'll Only Understand if You've Applied for a Graduate Job - Kloodle

24 Things You’ll Only Understand if You’ve Applied for a Graduate Job

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1) Doing the funky air grab trying to get back your application when you’ve sent it in with the wrong company name copied and pasted in.

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2) The pain of inputting your GCSE grades for the 75th time that night

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3) Receiving an automated email straight after you have filled in an hour long application thanking you for your efforts but rejecting you outright

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4) Trying to concentrate on a skills test thrust upon you at the end of an application whilst your housemates cause all sorts of unwanted distractions

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5) Clicking next, only to be greeted with a timeout error and all of your work vanishes – furiously clicking back to retrieve

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6) Applying for jobs posted by recruitment consultants that don’t really exist

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7) Doing a group task at an interview and being unable to get a word in edgeways as the rest love the sound of their own voice

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8) Guessing all the answers on a reasoning test cos you haven’t got a clue

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9) Including every single bit of qualification to make your UCAS points add up to 380

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10) Citing “exams” as the ability to handle pressure cos you only once cried like a toddler

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11) Listed “socialising” as one of your interests as a codeword for “likes to drink”

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12) Putting the salary scale to £38,000 + on Prospects and applying for those jobs alone

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13) Applying to Aldi as you like the sound of £40k and an Audi A4

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14) Declaring your passion for numerical analysis roles and stating that it is the only thing you have ever wanted to do

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15) Googled Times Top 100 and been through every conceivable online application form with a success strike rate of 0%

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16) LinkedIn stalked every head of graduate recruitment and got excited when they viewed your profile back

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17) Panic set the privacy on Facebook after you attended a talk that told you recruiters looked at your profile

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18) Ditto Twitter

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19) Ditto Instagram

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20) Downloaded a CV template off the internet only to cry after you can barely fill it

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21) Copied and pasted a cover letter citing your desire to work as a salesman and sent it to a HR department

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22) Declared an undying love for all things Human Resources

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23) Panicking and crying. Repeatedly

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24) Looking at your student loan balance and laughing cos you’ll never earn enough to trigger the payback

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About Phillip Hayes

Co Founder and CEO of @kloodleUK, the social network for student employability and careers. Part time Matthew Hayden mimic. I am passionate about making a dent in education by embedding employers and employability.

Entries by Phillip Hayes

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